Dating old boyfriend

11 Aug

Please give me the magic-spell-words to make him see this and dump him.Or else the fortitude to watch him marry this creep. I mean – He can’t hang, and he doesn’t treat my friend well.For example, the two of them went on a long bike trip together, and it took longer than this guy expected because my friend is not as in-shape and had to work harder to keep up, so the partner got upset that things were taking so long.He is very socially awkward and will often blurt out hurtful and insulting things at social gatherings that are later explained away as “jokes.” He’s also extremely conservative and quotes Glenn Beck all the time, and his idea of how their marriage should work definitely casts himself as a traditional husband and my friend as a “wife” even though they are both men.There’s a poem by Marilyn Hacker called “She Bitches About Boys” with the line: This guy found me when I was a bit lonely and unmoored and he expertly crawled up into my life by showering me with affection and attention and orgasms.He also provided just enough confessions of deep childhood trauma that – when he hurt me – my first instinct would be to feel sorry for him instead of myself.

It may be a need from The Dark and Sexy Side of the Force, so it may be something that your friend can’t or doesn’t want to explain.So when someone says “You’re the only person who really understands me” to you on the second date, you panic.So do I….except for when I was completely high on being intertwined with who I thought was the First Person To Really Get Me, Too, and then had to spend a year of my life in Love’s Methadone Clinic.I tell you all of this because: I think of myself as an intelligent and level-headed person, but I still got swept away. If you can understand that you can forgive him for it. You can’t talk someone out of being in love with Darth Vader, and sadly, the worse it gets the more your friend might try to talk himself into trying to make it work because if there is a happy ending all the ways he’s had to abase himself to stay in the relationship will have been “worth it.” You tried that, it didn’t work. If this guy is really a bad person or even just a bad fit for your friend, then sadly even the best-case scenario involves pain for your friend.If you can forgive him, when the topic of Bad Partner comes up, you can silent remind yourself “He’s getting something out of this that I can’t see.” That might be what you have to keep repeating to yourself as they careen toward the altar. At some point the guy might do something awful enough that it breaks the spell.